Today I had a doctor appointment. I took the day off. I haven’t even worked a full week at my new job and I already needed a day off. This new job is so different from my last one. It’s so laid back, I’m not used to it. I’m used to more of a fast paced environment, with people, usually angry ones, in my face all day and calling patients all day and working on schedules. Here, the four customers I’ve interacted with so far are so damn nice. It’s so weird to me. I don’t know how to handle these kind, easy going people.Yesterday when I told the office manager I would be off for my appointment she asked “You need all day for an appointment?” And I immediately felt defensive. Because that’s what I was used to being at my old job. But this wasn’t the case, she just wanted to know. I’m just not used to it. But I love it. And I haven’t even finished my first week.
Soooooooo I had the day off for my OB/GYN appointment. I usually take a day off for these office visits. They don’t go well, even though I have an AMAZING doctor. Today was just a check up, make sure my IUD was still in due to a paranoia a couple weeks ago (story to be told another time, stayyyy tuuuned), and to ease my mind that I did not have a baby growing inside of me. I am a hypochondriac when it comes to my Veronica (yes, that is the name of my lady V). So I expected this appointment to be as rough as it was when the IUD was placed (again, story to come).
I didn’t get one of those appointment reminder calls that doctor offices normally do, so I figured I’d either go and find out it was rescheduled (I assumed something must’ve gotten mixed up since I rescheduled this appointment like four times), or I’d be seen and afterwards I’d be dead to the world for the day.
I checked in. I was still scheduled for today. Bring on the dread. The nurse took my blood pressure. It was through the roof, as to be expected. I explained it to her. Told her not to worry. I have to explain this at every doctor appointment I go to. They call it “white coat syndrome”. The only doctor visits I dont have to exaplin this to is my PCP. He knows not to take my blood pressure right away, it’ll be too high. He takes it at the end of the visit. But every where else, they take it as soon as you walk in the damn door and then for me, that’s all they want to talk about. “Oh wow, your blood pressure is soooo high….have you seen someone for this?” Fuck off, I’m not here for my blood pressure so can we get this appointment over with?
Soooooooooo at my appointment, I get undressed from the waist down and await the uncomfiness. The doctor comes in, I fill her in on my paranoia and all that. She puts my feet up on the stirrups, gets all up in me, and then comes out and says “Looks great. You’re good to go!”
I’m sorry, What?? That’s it? “Yep! Oh and by the way, your pap came back normal so you don’t need to come back for year” WHAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?! I haven’t had a normal one in YEARS (I blame that on smoking).
So everything with Veronica was good, my appointment was the most normal OB/GYN visit I’ve ever had, so I decided to celebrate by going to the mermaid and finally start giving her color.
It’s been so hard to find time to work on her. It’s been raining for 40 days and 40 nights. But today, I had until 1:00PM to get started before it started raining again.
Everything was going good. And then I got to the fin.
Why couldn’t I have been blessed with the gift of patience? Why did I think I needed to start the scales??? Maybe it’s because it’s beeen raining so much so I haven’t had time to work on her, or maybe it’s because the painting I’m used to doing on canvas needs to be wet while I’m working on it. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because I just don’t have the will power to leave well enough alone.
This fin is going to be a pain in the ass, I knew it from the moment I tried getting the fishnet to cooperate. But I started anyway. I used painters tape, stuck the fishnet on, and started painting the fin. And of course, everything got fucked up.
The paint for the scales wasn’t dry, the paint for the fin didn’t want it stick, and the damn fishnet decided it no longer wanted to cooperate and came unstuck. So I tried again. Reapplied the scale paint, readjusted the fishnet, waited for like 4 hours (that’s in my time. In real time, I probably waited 10 minutes), and then started the fin color again. This time it worked great. So I thought giiiiirl you are awesome, keep fucking goinggggg! I should not have kept fucking going.
So, naturally the fucking fishnet stopped cooperating again but this time it was a DISASTER. It looked like someone’s back when they get a sunburn and it starts peeeling. I did the most logical thing I could think of: peel it off. So stupid. There ended up being a giant open spot where the paint came off with the fishnet and it just kept peeling. And not in a satisfying way, like in Gold Member. It was just little pieces and since the paint was still went, it just fell apart on my hand and was stuck there.
So now I have this giant, peeling blank space, and I have an hour to figure this shit out so I can finally leave and let the stupid paint dry before it rains and before I fuck anything else up. So I got out my sand paper and just started working the peeelies away. Then repainted the scale color, cleaned up the mess I made, and fucking left.
It started pouring rain the second I got to my car.
I am so annoyed right now. My day was going so good and now it’s ruined. Because of this stupid mermaid and her stupid fin and scales. Why was the gift of knowing when to walk away never instilled in me?????
Panic Attack Paints 