I work four 10 hour days (but sometimes the days are a lot longer) at a urology clinic as a secretary for an amazing doctor. Working with him, helping people, and getting Fridays off are the biggest perks of my job.
My doctor has patients with a wide range of medical conditions from ED and vasectomies all the way to prostate cancer.
Which means I deal primarily with male patients. Age range from the elderly to the youth. All in pain from their medical condition or hurt from their pride.
I have more compassion for the pained elderly and cancer patients. Even though their choice of words towards me boarders between harassment and verbal abuse, I can at least sympathize because they didn’t choose this, it wasn’t how they saw life going.
The ED patients are bad. A guy called me the other day and screamed at me because his Viagra wasn’t ready to be picked up. He needed it before he went to Europe next week…………………..yeah, I know what you’re thinking because same.
The ED guys are the ones that have made me cry on the phone. I get so frustrated with being aggressively asked a question and then getting cut off with belittling comments every time I tried to answer. I never let them know I was crying. I just say Please hold while I consult with the nurse and then go in the bathroom, cry for a second, then get back on the phone Sir, the nurse said you do not need to be seen within the next hour for this but I can schedule you next week. I learned if I pretend to consult with a nurse they think they’ve finally gotten some insight from someone who knows what they’re doing. Insert eye roll, face palm, middle finger. Dummies. It was me all along.
But the vasectomy guys are the worst. When they come in for their consultations there are three types:
- Arrogant and condescending
- Angry, rude, and late for consult appointment (and angrier and ruder when they have to reschedule for being late)
- Silent
The silent ones I actually like. In a female dominating way. They don’t get a say in anything. The wife does all the talking for him. And she’s usually a bitch (but being a bitch is being a boss so I allow it because I respect it). She takes him to the consult. Tells him to sit in the waiting area while she checks him in, fills out his paper work, even goes back with him when the nurse calls him back for his consult appointment. I would never be with a man like this but I always admire the Wife for coming in and taking control like that.
Usually a month will pass until the Big Three come back for the vasectomy procedure. When they come back, they come back a different man. They become one just one type: on time, loopy from the medication (given to calm their nerves), nice and hilarious. Even the Silents are talkative, the Wife telling him to calm down, and when he’s called back for the procedure he uses what’s left of his manhood to tell Wife “No Cheryl. You wait here. I don’t want you to see this.” and walks, head held high, down the hall to the procedure room, like a prisoner walking down death row still holding on to his plea that he is not guilty and will go with his conscious clear. And Wife is left to sit and wait until it’s over.
I worked here for three years. And I changed a lot in that time. My pay didn’t though.
The snappy elderly patients got a snappy response right back (they LOVED that!!! Not kidding. They would actually LAUGH and joke with me form then on).
The Screaming ED’s don’t stand a chance. Sir, you do not have a right to speak to them this way. As I was saying, I am not a nurse. I cannot help you with a medication refill. You can either call the nurse yourself or I can send her a message since she is seeing patients right now. The only other thing I can do is schedule you an appointment. They started calling me just to ask to speak with a nurse (not yell, just talk) or for me to send her a message or appointment. No more screaming.
But sadly, some patients are just flat out mean and The Big Three will never change, so all I try to do is be nice to help ease their minds.
Things were fine there. But sadly, the thing that sent me over the edge was my manager.
I don’t know how to play politics. I wear my emotion on my sleeve and I am not scared to stand my ground. When something’s about to go down, Ms. Manager gives the silent treatment and then you’re left paranoid trying think of what could’ve happened, is it something she’s going to fire you over?! Then two days of silent treatment later, you’re called into a meeting because “you’re a bully” or “you’re not compassionate enough” or “I know you made this mistake on purpose” about something that happened last week that you didn’t even know about.
Maybe she has something going on at home. Maybe she’s going through “the change”. I don’t know but the nonstop condescending comments, blame games, inconsistencies, fearing for my job security depending on her mood, it’s too much.
I am a good employee. And I love helping people. I have a degree in Psychology. I want to be a counselor to help others with PTSD. Helping people is my passion. So I was good at helping these patients and good at my job.
Not that I needed to hear it, but I was told by my doctor, other managers, even HR about how great I am at this job, but not my own manager. I don’t mean to be a millennial about this. I’m not saying I need constant praise and reassurance but I did want some kind of reassurance my job was secure.
It was last Tuesday. Ms. Manager was at her usual “you’re terrible at everything you do. Now go sit in another department and help them because we’re short staffed” Me: But my doctor just sent me a list of Post Ops I need to schedule and I want to check on them and see how they’re doing “Doesn’t matter. This is about numbers and your doctor isn’t in the office today so you’re needed elsewhere” and then I returned to my desk that evening to 14 voicemails from angry patients because they haven’t been called yet (to be fair, the patients don’t give you enough time to call them. I mean really, it hadn’t even been a day. But I was still trying to be proactive).
That same evening I had a job interview for a secretary position at a boat marina. AND GOT THE JOB.
I submitted my two weeks notice the next day. I told HR first. I told her I wanted her and my doctor to know first before I told Ms. Manager because it’s cheaper to tell her something than to pay for it to be posted on a billboard. I told HR We’ll save the rest for the exit interview. She laughed. She said she’s going to miss me. Ditto girl.
I told my doctor that night after clinic. He was sad. Like genuinely sad. We talked about it, I told him everything I should’ve saved for the exit interview but I needed to get it out. When he left for the night, I cried. I’m going to miss that man the most.
The next day, Ms. Manager was giving me silent treatment. After I said Good Morning three times with no response, I asked to speak with her privately. That got her attention. I handed her my resignation notice. Her response “Hmmm. Does your doctor know?” Yep. “Well, you’re going to be missed.” And that was it.
I don’t know what kind of response I expected. Maybe groveling. Like in A Christmas Story when Ralphie imagines going blind from eating soap and his mom and dad are sobbing at his feet. Maybe not as extreme, but a little bit of a fight to keep me would’ve been nice. It’s like ending a relationship and his response is “Cool, I respect it” and you’re left thinking WHY DONT YOU CARE?!?!?! CARE DAMNIT!!! HURT!!!!! FEEL THE PAIN AND FEAR OF MY ABSENCE!!!!!
I start training my replacement next week. Just like that.
The only down side I can see to the new job so far is I don’t get my day drinking on Fridays anymore. Which is probably a good thing. My liver could use a break.
I’m nervous, but I have to get out of there. I can’t just stay just because I’m scared to move on. I’ve had Stockholm Syndrome once before with my ex, I can’t put myself through it again.
But my doctor assured me if I don’t like it there, he’ll take me back whenever I’m ready. Best back burner I’ve ever had.
Panic Attack Paints 